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whoever you think, is watching you dance from across the room -- they arent. [Tuesday November 14th, 2006] [ mood | amused ] people make me laugh so hard. fucking pathetic. :) &as of lately i fell in love with this song by owen, and i feel it describes a few people in my life. whatever it is you think you are you aren't: a good friend, unique, well-read good-looking, or smart well now you know well I hate to be the one to bear such bad news I know it hurts to hear but it's true you don't mean anything to anyone but me and even I think that you're blinded by conceit so now you know free beer and basement shows don't mean you've made it it's what you do not who you were, what you wear, where you've been so do something whoever you think is watching you dance from across the room they aren't if anything, they feel sorry for you 'cause you try so hard I know it hurts to hear but it's the truth so you might as well hear it from a friend you're a has-been that never was I know it's mean to say but it's something I've been meaning to say to you for a while you're a has-been that never was or will be and i did a quiz i stole from amber. ( Read more... ) 6 !@#$%^&!

[Monday November 13th, 2006] i stolleee this from katieeee. im bored. trying not to do homework. pointless survey. no i didnt lj-cut. Y=Yes, N=No : girl confessions [Y]I'm straight. [N] I'm gay. [N] I'm bi. [N] I'm easy. [Y] I do wear make up. [Y]When I walk by mirrors, I can't help but look. [Y] When I walk by mirrors, I like what I see [N] When I walk by mirrors, I hate what I see. [N] I wear a bra to bed [Y] Ocassionally i sleep naked [Y] I wear toe nail polish. [Y] I have cried at a movie theater. [N] I've purposely talked to a guy my boyfriend didn't like. [N] I love chocolate covered pretzels. [Y] Getting a flower makes me smile, especially for no reason. [N] I've wrecked a car. [Y] I can't put mascara on without opening my mouth. [Y] I'd do anything for that special guy [N] I get jealous easily [Y] I love cuddling. [Y] I think Johnny Depp is sexy. [Y] I've gotten a detention. [Y] I've gotten suspended. [N] I've gotten expelled. [Y] I love to laugh. [Y] I like rock. [N] I like death/grind/black metal. [Y] I like rap. [N] I like techno. [Y] I like country. [Y] I carry a purse. [Y] I'd be lost without my cell phone [N] I'd be lost without my mp3/CD player/iPOD. [Y] I own/did own a Spice Girls CD. [Y] I own/did own a Britney Spears CD. [Y] I own/did own a boy band CD. [N] Football isn't boring. [Y] I love athletic boys. [Y] I love skater guys. [Y] I love punk guys. [N] I love gangsta guys. [Y] I love emo guys. [N] I love gothic guys. [N] I love geeky guys. [N] I love country guys. [Y] I love guys that are just themselves. [Y] Guys are confusing [Y] I've been called a tease. [N] I've been called a slut. [Y] I've been called a bad influence. [N] Lip gloss is better than lipstick. [N] I can't leave the house without makeup. [N] I play video games, even when there are other people around. [Y] My friends are the best, and they're important to me. [Y] I would do anything for my friends. [N] I smoke way too much. [N] I drink way too much. [Y] I have a tattoo. [Y] I have piercings other than my ears. [Y] I have been to more than 5 concerts. hahahahah well. that was exciting huh? blehhh. college life is getting tough. i have so much homework to do right now and im just putting it off. i guess im going to go start it. and i have to schedule classes soon, and i have no idea what classes i want/need to take. i need someone standing there like who knows like okay rachel you need to take ..... and then i will and schedule an appropriate time for myself. blehhh. and if i want to move to nj next year i need to fucking apply to colleges like right now. i wish josh lived here and i had a good job and someone to help me schedule my classes -- although im sure i could go set up an appointment with a councler although it might be too late now. blehhhhhh. im a bum. 2 !@#$%^&!

:) [Tuesday October 31st, 2006] [ mood | tired ] i havent updated in awhile with any real entry. so after my awesome trip to nj with sayble and justine, i figure, whynot? school is going well. i dont thinking im failing anything or getting lower than a B in anything. living with joey is still wonderful. we honestly have not argued once and we get along great. i got into it with out suitemates but thats all taken care of. :) everything is fucking amazing with josh. i never in a million years thought id have anything remotely like this in my life. as you would know if you glance back at old entries, i was always wishing for something, and loving other couples, and here i am. i am completely happy with my life right now, and i am so appreciative. josh is my bestfriend, and my amazing boyfriend. a problem about me getting home arose while i was in nj, (10hours frm home) and he was going to drive me home so that i could make it home for my exam in time. like what a fucking amazing guy seriously. i am so lucky to have him. <333 but, as i said i went to nj for the weekend. and josh and i went to a halloween party on saturday in philly to see a bunch of his friends. i got wasted and made friends with everyone. met tayrn, lost beerpong, took pictures, and was just fucking out of my mind. sayble and justine showed up later with this day and age and the rookieoftheyear boys. (aka saybles new bf mike!). but it was an awesome night. then sunday we woke up super early and went to joshes show. we passed the time by playing beerpong with amber and kenny. for joshes costume, as you will see in the pictures i am posting, he was a HUGE fucking gangster, these pictures dont even begin to do his costume justice haha. <333 annnnnnd thats about it. i love all of my friends. im having so much fun with life and schoool. and parties and my boyfriend. i just honestly couldnt be happier. :) :) :) annnd happy belated birthday victoria!!!! ( Read more... ) click zee link to see more pictures!! :) 9 !@#$%^&!

[Tuesday October 24th, 2006] everything is wonderful. 3 !@#$%^&!

is it possible for the world to look this way forever? [Wednesday September 27th, 2006] [ mood | happy ] i hope so. :) um. um. um. basically i suck at life and havent updated in god knows how long. its because im happy. when im sad, which is a normal thing, i could write all day. but im happy. and i guess i dont really know how to go about being happy. i like it. josh came and stayed with joey and i for like five days, and there was never a dull moment. and all of the girls absolutely love him. he came in, we pregammed and went to the bar with jojo kari kate &court, and then we have a sleepover. :) the next two days josh and i just bummed around watching movies, going out to eat, and getting drunk and loving each other. sunday we went to cedarpoint for our one month (we decided to count the stupid breakup) bc we were still very much in love. annnd then before he left me sawah cut and colored his hair. i love it, but im not sure he does. but what does josh know haha. if youre friends with him on myspace comment him and tell him he looks sexy. but im leaving in a week to go stay with him in midlandpark, nj with his little roomies alex and jesse. and then hes coming here from the 14th-21st. or something like that. so long distance really isnt so bad. except for the fact that i miss him so much i cant stand it, but its just like he lives here and works a lot and i goto college, so every now and again we get to hang out. hehe. i love being near him, its the best thing in the entire world. ive never gotten along with a boy that i liked in my entire life. i never thought id have anything like this and honestly i couldnt be happier. im running out of things to be bummed about. haha. i guess thats a good thing. we really are in love and its wonderful. im so happy for me and for us. i knew we'd work out. if you love someone, dont ever give up on em. :) i love stacy, we went to an 80's party. annnnnd college life is exciting, im starting to get homework and papers, and the waking up for classes thing is kickin my ass. joey and i get along super well so thats not a problem at all. its like ive always lived with someone. i get sad sometimes though when i drive around my house, and im like aw how sad i dont live here anymore. growing up is really scary. but! its also very exciting. and i guesss thats all ive got. i might vacay wif josheywah for springbreak which would be so awesome. annnnnnnnnd i misss my momma. annnnnd school sucks, whether its college, highschool, or even elementary school haha. fuck it all. 11 !@#$%^&!

survey. [Tuesday September 12th, 2006] [ mood | bored ] stole it from the cutie jenna123. whom stole it from someone else, and i decided against a LJ-CUT. comment me if you read it bc i know that no one will haha. 1. LA or New York? newyorkcity. 2. Red or White wine? i have no idea. 3. What's something a member of the gender you prefer can wear to turn you on? i love girl jeans, not like super tight like dear lord how can you penis breathe jeans but nicely fitting girly jeans. 4. What's something a member of the gender you prefer can wear to turn you off? a fucking tall tee, its beyond me why the fuck those were made. 5. Who was the last person you kissed? josheywahhh. 6. Favorite cuss word? fuck. 7. Favorite non-alcoholic drink? v8 juice baby. 8. Blondes or Brunettes? i enjoy both thank you. 9. What's something you always have on you? my coverup stick. 10. Do you stay awake in bed thinking or do you fall asleep in 5 seconds? im usually awake for awhile, but normally i talk to joshey so he takes up my thinking time. hehe. 11. What celebrity would you like to fight the most? i dont have any need to fight celebrities, but lindsay lohan -- i completely agree with jenna on that one. 12. What's the last thing that made you cry or got you teary eyed? when josh and i broke up. 13. What's your favorite holiday? christmas, my birthday is two days after. :) 14. What are you listening to right now? the buzzing of my sidekick that joeys using, and the fan in the background. 15. Are your parents still together? shockingly, yes. 16. If you inherited $20 million, what are the first 5 things you'd do with the money? (1) pay off my parents debt to life (2) buy an amazing apartment in nyc, make josh live with me in it (3) HUGE shopping spree (4) pay my way into a super awesome college (5) another huge shopping spree 17. What was the best year of your life? its a tie between freshman and sophomore year of highschool. 18. Why? it was our first time at huge parties, and hanging out with guys who drove, and being drunk, and having such an awesome time, i didnt know about myspace or anything else, and life was perfect to me then. 19. Have you ever flown first class? dont i wish. 20. Where was your first vacation? my first real vacation was myrtle beach. 21. What are you SUPPOSED to be doing right now? probably a paper thats due thursday. but hey, ive got another day. 22. Are you gonna do it? yes i will, because i am a good student. 23. What's the best thing a member of your gender preference can do to turn you on? ohh dear lord. :) 24. Pro Life or Pro Choice? prochoice. 25. Favorite physical features on the opposite sex? smile. 26. Whats the date today? 9/13/06 -- joshey comes TOMORROW. 27. How old are you today? 18. 28. Who do you have a crush on that doesn't know yet? josh grigsby, im too scared to tell him. :X 29. Best movie you've seen this year? tons, i dont even know. 32. Ever been in love? id like to think so. 33. Who makes you laugh the most? abby, tom, josh, jeff, annnd myself. 34. What do you want to be doing in 20 years? well id like to be alive, doing well, and happy. :) 35. What was the last CD you bought? how sad i have no idea. 36. South Park or Simpson's big fan of both. 37. Breakfast, lunch, or dinner? umm on a good day, im only awake for dinner. but i love lunch. fuck breakfast. 38. When was the last time you talked to your mom? earlier today. 39. Have you ever written a song? i used to try and write all the time. haha. those were the days. 40. Can two people be "just friends"? ive always thought so, and been proved wrong, unless one is gay -- one of the two opposite sex just friend participants, likes the other one -- they just dont know it. 43. American, Cheddar, or Swiss cheese? cheddar and american rule, fuck swiss. 44. What was the best thing about high school? knowing so many people. 45. Favorite movie quote? i dont feel like looking it up, theres tons. :) 46. Are you sleepy?i wish. 47. When was the last time you were drunk? saturday. 48. What do you want on your tombstone? rachelfreakink. ruled. hahaha i dont know, what a depressing question. 49. Your name spelled backwards? lehcar 50. Where were your parents born? wayne/westland, michigan -- theyve went far. hahaha. 51. What is the last thing you downloaded on your computer? some song i again dont feel like looking up. 52. What's your favorite restaurant? MONGOLIAN BBQ. 53. What's one thing most people don't know about you? i have a liptattoo, but i guess if youve seen my myspace youd know that. people dont know that im a perfectionist, and a neat freak. annndd im very self conscious about my mouth. oh and i have a little brother. 54. Have you been in love? i swear i was already asked this, and yes i suppose i was. i thought i was at the time. but i feel like if its real than itd never really go away, even if the two people werent together anymore, yaknow? i deno. i think i was, im not sure. ask me in a year. 55. Are you single? nopieee. 56. What type of music you dislike most? i hate hardcore deathmetal and polka haha makes my goddamn ears bleed. 57. Are you registered to vote? not yett. 58. Do you have a car? yes. 59. One thing you want right now? what a silly question, i want josh. thats it. :) 60. Ever prank call anybody? hahaha man oh man i miss them camper sleepovers. 61. If you could be a famous person for a day who would you be? angelina jolie, the lip change would be nice -- hahaha jk. im not really sure actually. someone hot as hell. 62. Would you go bungee jumping or skydiving? yess thatd be amazing. 63. What's the farthest place you ever traveled? cancun, mexico. 64. Where do you want to be in 5 years? the fuck out of college. 65. What is the size of your bed? ive never owned a bed bigger than a twin, thats a dream of mine. aw how exciting. :) im done haha. okkayyy. back to dorm life. i love everyone, hope college/highschool/noschool lifes going well for everyone. :) <333 nightie. 8 !@#$%^&!

:) [Saturday September 9th, 2006] well. joshey and i are back together. he said he realized what he was missing, and did need me in his life. and hes better than ever. and i really think we're going to be okay this time. hes coming here thursday and staying with joey and i in our dorm till monday. i am so excited. and i really believe we're going to work out for the best and be really good and happy together. i know how much he really does care about me, and its very obivious i care just as much for him. so, im happily in love again. :) college is wonderful. im already used to my new place and living with joey. joeys wonderful and we get along so well, i swear i was supposed to be their triplet hehe. im scared my classes are going to be hard, but thats college. hopefully ill be able to handle everything. i like college bc it forces you to be independant, whether you like it or not. and i like the experience. i do a lot of things, and now im doing college. :) im going to be old and super happy that i lived life. i hope everyone else can eventually say the same. live outside of the box damnit! hehe. allwite well. its super late, and im super tired. so goodnightie. i love you all i just wanted to update everyone, ill have more picture of my dormie soon so everyone can fall in love. im so happy with my life right now and joshey. i dont want anything to ever change. <3 2 !@#$%^&!

college is amazing. [Sunday September 3rd, 2006] [ mood | excited ] well im no good with confrontation but id like to shut this door lock it back and act like this past year had never happened bc i dont want this anymore could you take me back to where we began we can walk along the edge again if you take me back to where this started. maybe lookin back this will all make sense so the dreams i had i can have again if you take me back to where this started now im no good with confrontation but id like to shut this door on you cause its about those promises you made that never happened yeah i dont want those anymore. was it your intention to waste my time you got what you wanted. college is amazing it was only our first fucking night. and we went to FOUR huge ass parties. i was a fucking mess. and i loved every single second. we stumbled back into my dorm at four am. woke up and went to the eastern fusion. our dorm is beautiful. looks so awesome. like a little cute house thats the size of a room. and lifes going to be good. :) 3 !@#$%^&!

hearts are broken everyday. [Thursday August 31st, 2006] [ mood | drained ] (disclaimer: super long entry, BUT i didnt write it for the readers, or reader, or glancee's or passerby. i wrote it because i wanted to be sad for myself and vent to my livejournal. so its not a must that you read further. okay, continue...) well. i am home from my pennslyvania/newyork/newjersey trip with joshey. the first two days were amazing. i was so happy when i got off of the airplane and into the airport and seen josh. then him me and this kevin boy had a five hour trip, that probably shouldnt have been five hours, to longisland, ny. that was fun. i met joshes ex, that was exciting. exgirlfriends are always exciting right? i also met jarrett and kennys girlfriends -- im in love with erin, jarretts girlfriend. shes sucha sweetheart. and she let us sleepover. :) that night was amazing. it was jus t so great. i love sleeping over with josh. and our cute stupid talkss that i wish i could record and play later to make me smile. the next day was in jersey, and they had a bbq. i met a few other people whom i had previously heard about. which was entertaining. i got drunk. tried to get josh to go makeout with me. and watched the show. their show that night was amazing. theeee best houstoncalls show i had ever seen. i loved it. they all did amazing. i got sickie afterward, josh tried to take care of me, but i sucked at life. and we slept. after that the tour was over and josh and i went back home to his parents house. they are all a buncha cuties. his dad rules, and his sister is awesome because she gave up her room for me. :) annnnnnd. josh and i broke up. i didnt handle it very well. i basically cried for three hours straight because i couldnt control myself. but eventually i pulled myself together and we talked about it and it got better. we're still not dating. but, i guess we're going to wait it out and see if itll work out. later that night we went bowling and smoked, and had fun and were cute like we normally are. and he dropped me off at the airport today. i almost cried when i walked in, but i didnt. and when i was sitting on the plane waiting to go, i just kept crying. im so retarded, i like forgot we broke up. and then i was sitting there and i was like wow, hes really not mine anymore. and i just kept thinking how happy i was. and it sucked. josh is just so stupid. we are amazing together. when i am with him, i feel like im with one of my bestfriends, just making jokes or wrestling or just being happy together. breaking up, sucks. everything is just better when im around him. or atleast it was. bhdshafadfilajdfl. i suck at this. i was just so happy. and even though he refuses to let it work, i know he felt the same exact way. but oh well. thats how my cookie crumbled. he said hes going to come stay with me in my dorm in september and figure things out then, which, i really hope that happens. i really admire people who are mature and can handle break ups and understand its for the best, and continue to be friends. i just cant. i still love the person just as much as i did before the break up, so how can you be their friend? and be happy for them and some other girl or just stuff that doesnt involve you in any way, although you wish that it did. i just fell in love with the fact that we got along so well. like we went to the movie store, and spent about 5 minutes because i loved every movie he picked out. we shared food at the chinese resturant because we love the same exact food, he death grips me when we wrestle and im fragile and bruise. i love holding his hand although im deprived of it often because he sucks. and we sleep so well together, and we do other things well together. and we kiss wonderful together. and i felt so comfortable with him, like we had been dating for about two years and were old friends. and maybe all of those things are stupid and minute to life. but i fell in love with it all. honestly, if you care enough about someone -- it shouldnt matter if they lived in a different country, a different state or a fucking different planet. it should just be about how you feel and what youre willing to do for that feeling. because regardless of what negitive people say, or what your smart little brain is telling you, love is enough. itll never fail, and itll always work. people dont just fall for each other everyday. and youre letting that go. its not fair. but, what do i know. okay. well. i promise that is the last time ill complain about the josh situation. well. to that extent. im sure none of you read it really, but i just wanted to write it for me. not for anyone else. i just needed to vent, because it makes me feel better. maybe itll work out, maybe it wont, maybe ill run into someone tomorrow and fall in love. you never know. i do know that after yesterday, it feels good to be in my room. 11 !@#$%^&!

you had me at hello. [Thursday August 24th, 2006] [ mood | bouncy ] i am obbsessed with this song again. i forgot how much i love it. :) a day to remember - you had me at hello. it makes me want to sing. and be happy. bres doing my hair today. im stoked. &im finally getting my nails done. its raining, and such a crappy day. i need to pack. this time tomorrow ill be with joshey. i am so excited. i love being with him. hes absolutely wonderful. &hes mine. and i want this to work more than anything. :) yesterday joey and i bought basically all of our big shit for our dorm. its going to be so bright and so girly and so awesome. im excited for our little life in our little room together. <3 not to mention free food, constant working out, and frat parties with the poohnanies. <33 fuck yes. 3 !@#$%^&!

: ) [Monday August 21st, 2006] [ mood | sleepy ] just got home from cleveland, and i probably should be asleep. we look rediculous, but i love them because their of us. i honestly could not be happier. im super sad bc our four days together ended, but i see him again for five, in five. so im just looking forward to that. but incase you dont know, joshey is my boyfwend now. and he is absolutely wonderful. we only spent like four days together, but really -- i cant remember the last time i felt like this. i really feel like i havent even known josh before this. hes so different now, and so amazing. i am just so happy. and so thankful. its like when we're together im just with my bestfriend, its so weird i feel like we're been dating for a year or so. haha. and really its been like 3 days. i just cant say how happy i am enough, and i hope it never goes away. we're going to be wonderful together. 12 !@#$%^&!

[Wednesday August 16th, 2006] [ mood | peaceful ] today was my last day of work at e salon. steve/sandy both came up to hug me and wish me goodluck with life and say goodbye. steve lectured me for an hour i swear. but its because he loves me. :) he just told me to go far in life and that im awesome, and never to settle. and to have so much fun in college. and he also said "when you like a boy -- when youre with him -- laugh. because if he does not make you laugh, dont be with him. be with someone who makes you laugh." and i just thought that was such a sweet thing for him to say. im really going to miss e salon. two years. after quitting i really feel like im starting my new life. i graduated, i said goodbye to my life for four years. and now -- i quit my job i had for two years, its like im ending all the old stuff i used to do. josh will be here in two days. i might actually go see him in wisconsin tomorrow, but im not sure because i am really low on funds. but, then its also one extra day i get to spend with josh. its so funny we got from seeing eachother two or three days in a row at the most. and now, i see him for like 4 or 5. and then im going to stay with him and his family in PA. im really really excited. i hope everything goes really great for us. i get scared it wont. and then i come home and move into my dorm with joey. these next few months are going to be so crazy. getting used to college, getting used to a room being my home with joey. and hopefully making things work with josh. im so excited/scared/happy about everything. i guess this is growing up. i finally went to the MANPARTMENT lastnight with killakam and hannahkam. stevie k, farkass, hulka, santini and this boy chad were all there. we got high. haha of course. and here are some pictures... and no, i decided against a lj-cut. :) i am a huge fan of my softball-looking outfit. farkass hated me because slicked his hair back hahaha. the pictures werent too exciting haha but i had a good time. 4 !@#$%^&!

read all of this, its wonderful. [Sunday August 13th, 2006] [ mood | high ] this girl mindy wrote this in a blog on her myspace, and i read it the other day -- and absolutely loved it, and asked her if i could post it in my livejournal and save it. and she saiddd to please do so. and here i am. :) bc i read it, and fell in love. again, i didnt write it. just loved it. :) love. fate. faith. repost: i remember learning that love was something so special and unique, and so divine that when you finally find it, you must take care of it, comfort it, and listen to it. mom taught me that love doesn't come around just every time your eyes find something that they like to gaze upon. she also said how not to settle for something just because you think it makes you happy at that certain point and time. and no... i don't expect a fairy tale. but it's certainly not supposed to be a nightmare either. now, not to say that our future is damned... but because of the number of ignorant people that i watch around me helplessly falling in love with each other faster than rabbits can make babies, i feel rediculous and shameful to be apart of a generation that's so naive. and that's how we're truely looked upon, for the most part. you see it in the TV shows, ads, stores, schools, and better yet, in our own families eyes. they are in constant fear for us because they're always afraid of us falling too quickly and burying ourselves under. watch how quickly our generation can be decieved. how quickly they can side with one person on one issue. how easy they are to convince of something. we're like the oblivious madam at the door being bought into a quirky salesman selling a big $49.95 box of junk. anyone can agree. no wonder we have so many pregnant 15 year olds. or better yet, so many 25-30 year old struggling on raising their own kids, much less struggling to save their marriages. this nations trust is based on lust. lust and rivalry. what once was a sweet gesture such as holding hands, kissing, or even just making eye contact, has become the turning point in a relationship. i'm not one to cut down on females too much, seeing that i am one, but maybe it's the horimones that we have that take over and "blind us." or partly it's the guys not caring what they have to say to trigger these elucive horimones. and guys know that with some chicks.. you don't have to say much to get your way. some people feel they need someone else to make them feel happy, in which, in a sense is true i guess. it's always good to have someone around that you can trust to make you forget your problems. but some people depend on lovers just as much as these immature college boys still depend on their mothers to do their laundry and pay for their bills. love is not a chance to play and win. it's not a trend, or a fad. love is no weekend fling with the neighbors daughter. love is not casual. nor is it casual sex. love is not holding hands and paying for dinners. love doesn't start and end in a certain day, time, or place. no matter what people say, it doesn't come around again. love, however IS patient and love IS kind.... but only if you know how to deal with it. love DOES NOT envy and it does NOT boast, and it IS NOT proud. but we see that these "lovers" of today sure love to parade around their trophies on their arms. how many times have there been arguements over who gets what guy/girl? It's fiendish. Truth is... people, or rather, teenagers of today are so completely selfish, and moronic that they can't see that love isn't something that you can find out of a hot hook up on a saturday night. and love isn't going to come in the reply to your emails on myspace. love isn't in the money, or clothes you wear or how much make up you can put on to disguise yourself. and it certainly never fails. there are, of course, prophecies in which people must conquer within a relationship... but that is apart of being in love and working together. love is not just a word. Love is not an emptiness longing to be filled- it is a fullness pressing to be released. Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of and end. 3 !@#$%^&!

the comfort in "theres no one else.." [Wednesday August 9th, 2006] rachel and i had a photoshoot the other night. i am so excited to see joshey. and i am just so happy with everything lately. happy is nice. i love it. i love him. i just hope everything keeps getting better and better. sarahhh and i are going to 12oaks to get sukihana, and then to ann arbor to hit up some shops. :) annnd bre doesnt know it yet, but im making her cut my hair soon. this picture is amazing, bc i love this coverup. if you know me, youll laugh at that. haha. i know, im a fricken hottie hahaha. ugly dolls rule. annnnd thats it. :) 10 !@#$%^&!

where does the good go. [Tuesday August 8th, 2006] [ mood | mellow ] so i hung out with my somich army boys the othernight. you wouldnt know it bc its mostly us girls in the pictures. hahaha. BUT i was completely trashed and eventually cut-off. and by completely trashed i mean.... haha im pretty sure, i was the life of the party. 4 !@#$%^&!

may i say i loved you more. [Monday August 7th, 2006] [ mood | crappy ] blahhhhh. i want someone in my life that i dont need to convince to want to be. id give anything for someone to be amazing to me. and make me feel like im thee lukiest girl alive. :( i miss love so much. and im so scared. please something wonderful happen to me. lindsay IMed me while she was on her way to oceancity. annnd i guess she talked to kory while she went through PA. and blahh. the minute she said his name, i was like oh ouch. i havent thought of or talked to him in so long. and i remember this time last year, i was in ocean city with lindsay -- and kory. and it was wonderful. i was so niave. and its so funny bc im in a similiar situation now. and now korys in oceancity with some "friends" orrr nic chetti. dfmalk;df;lkdfaf. damn it all. i cant wait to be happily in love. even if it happens in like 3 years. 4 !@#$%^&!

ill believe all your lies, if you just pretend to love me. [Friday August 4th, 2006] lastnight was fun. justin loves me so he fed me berry flavored beer at the paramore show. they let rachel pretend to be 21 so they gave her a bracelet to drink. sarah and jeremy are thee cutest things ever and i couldnt be more jealous. we watched them play from stage and everytime he had a free moment, he came over and kissed her or held her hand. sarahs so lucky. and so is he to have her. assholes. annd paramore did amazing, hailey has such great stage presence, along with a phenominal voice. it was really great. everyday and night i wish i was your someone. 5 !@#$%^&!

she wont keep on waiting for youuu without a doubttt. [Thursday August 3rd, 2006] [ mood | sleepy ] :) i slept in today. it ruled. i realized i had nothing to do, bc i wasnt going to the ivory show alone. so, i called up davidryan. and he came over. we went to guitar center, we walked in and were standing there, and the guys that worked there talked to me before they even looked at him haha. but david got pissed at the guys so while he was angry i wrapped tape around his arm to losen the tension. we went out to eat at applebees, and he put guitar strings, and tuned my guitar. :) it was nice. ill never play it though. later, rachel and i went and visited christian, dorman and thomas. very cute boys. we went out to eat, i layed on the couch, and we talked about their music haha. we're going clubbing before they leave us. the boy sarah introduced me to a few months ago texted me while i was there, i guess hes going to be here next week. the 8th. :) i am really excited. annnnnnnnnnnnnd. thats my life. i go back to work soon. that sucks. school starts soon. thats exciting/shitty/scary. but im excited to live with my little johanna.<3 goodnight loves. ps. one day. maybe not today. or tomorrow. can someone just treat me like i am thee best thing in the entire world. i cant tell you how much i need it. i am so jealous of every single happily cute couple in the world. every girl deserves that. someone give me that. 4 !@#$%^&!

:) [Wednesday August 2nd, 2006] [ mood | high ] i love life. i am so excited for my future. and ive loved this summer. <3 i may not have an awesome lovelife. haha. but im very happy with everything else. :) 7 !@#$%^&!

<3 [Monday July 31st, 2006] Words fall out of my mouth And I cant seem to trace what Im saying Everybody wants your time Im just dreaming out loud, I cant have you for mine and I know it I just wanna watch you shine. Tripping up on my tongue, Its all over my face and Im racing Gotta get away from you Burning all the way home, Try to put it to bed but it chases Every little thing I do When the light falls on your face, Dont let it change you When the stars get in your eyes, Dont let them blind you. Youre beautiful Just the way you are And I love it all Every line, and every scar And I wish that I could make you see This is where you ought to be, Come down to me. Spell it out in a song, Bet you never catch on to my weakness Im singing every word for you. Here Im thinking Im sly Then youre catching my eye, and just maybe Youre thinking what Im thinking too Words fall out of my mouth And I cant seem to trace what Im saying Everybody wants your time Im just dreaming out loud, I cant have you for mine and I know it I just wanna watch you shine. Youre beautiful Just the way you are And I love it all Every line, and every scar And I wish that I could make you see This is where you ought to be, Come down to me. Spell it out in a song, Bet you never catch on to my weakness Im singing every word for you. Here Im thinking Im sly Then youre catching my eye, and just maybe Youre thinking what Im thinking too When you see it on my face, Dont let it shake you I know better than to try and Take you with me. When you see it on my face, Dont let it shake you I know better than to try and Take you with me. !@#$%^&!

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